“Men are Selfish”

Uh, yeah. So what? I looked up selfish in the dictionary, ok screw that, I googled it, but it did not say, “a purely male characteristic defined by making pretty girls cry and throw themselves in front of buses.” OK-forget it, I didn’t google it at all, I am not a research scientist. Regardless, I am reasonably sure that it does NOT say that anywhere on Google, Bing, Yahoo or whatever your preferred search engine.

I think women would be a lot happier if they took a page from the man’s playbook and asserted their selfishness a little more in romantic relationships. Women won’t do it though. Why? Because “what if he doesn’t like me anymore” or “what if I miss my chance to be with him?” Uh, wait, what if YOU decide that you don’t like him anymore or HE misses his chance to be with you? Yeah-the thought is actually shocking, isn’t it?

You could actually have a life separate from a man that you may be seeing, have feelings for, even married to. I know this idea is radical to many of you women particularly those who might find themselves single when they don’t want to be, but let’s break this down.

Let’s say you meet a man. He is fabulous, wonderful, maybe he is even the man of your dreams. You want to spend every waking minute with him, and he is likely pretty into it because a)you’re hot and b)you’re in the mood A LOT.

However, as the relationship continues, you mistakenly believe that there is a direct correalation between the length of the relationship and amount of time that must be spent together (key word here:must-I will be circling back to it) instead of an inverse correalation which is actually a lot healthier and better for both of you in the pre-engagement/super serious stage of dating.

“WAIT A SECOND! What if he goes out and does..does, I don’t know..stuff..” Uh, so if you are worried about that, WHY are you with him? Because he is “great,” “the one,” “he loves me so much.” Oh really? Then guess what, he isn’t out “doing stuff.”

If you think he is, even if he isn’t, then he isn’t the right guy for you, and I will tell you why–the right guy is the guy that you aren’t worried about “doing stuff.” Any man that makes you worried is worrisome. (I should fucking write bumper stickers–that is epic) Dump him. If you had been smart, and read my previous post, you wouldn’t even be in this situation because you would have weeded the douches.

So let’s explore this word, “MUST” as in he “MUST do A to prove B.” Women have a lot of rules. We like order. We like expectations. We like knowing. So by making some sort of relationship flowchart in our heads that dictates what men MUST do to prove their love in a sequential manner, we miss the big picture.

If the guy loves you or thinks he is going to love you, he won’t feel he must do anything. He’ll just do it. If he’s not doing it, guess what, you’ll know. Do you really want to be with a guy that you have to bitch at to do or not do things to keep him from going away? Guess what? If you are bitching at him, don’t worry that he will go away. He is just going to GO AWAY. I don’t blame him. Get a life and stop worrying about him. It isn’t your job, and trust me, you don’t want it to be.

So instead of complaining about how men are selfish, focus on having a good time. Relax. Savor time alone or rather AWAY from him. Listen to your inner voice. If he sucks, she’ll tell you.

Yeah–try being selfish. I hear men have been doing it forever…

About Jen Cross

Born and raised in Dallas, TX, I enjoy writing books about life in Dallas and relationships and their many ups and downs.
This entry was posted in LOVE, Marriage, Men, Relationships and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to “Men are Selfish”

  1. Keith says:

    I see it more as having “Me time”…regardless if you are male or female. Everyone needs some.

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