As starry-eyed and optimistic as this sounds–I believe this with all my heart. It’s the reason that I want to be home when my children walk home from school. It’s the reason that my children at 9, 7, and 4 are just now discovering that you can buy cookies from the store. It’s the reason that their birthday parties won awards at our country club every summer. And it’s the reason that I attended two years of marital therapy-alone. Fairy Tale–Over.
However, as devastating as the realization that I couldn’t provide my children with my fantastical ideals of the “perfect childhood.” I knew that they would and will survive with their very capable father’s and my help.
It isn’t going to be easy. There are a lot of questions including “Are we a family when Daddy doesn’t live here?” which I easily answered with, “Do your grandparents live here? Do your uncles and aunts live here? Families don’t have to live in the same house.” I am sure there are harder questions to follow, but for the moment, I rest in the fact that the answers to questions that I never hoped to field somehow come naturally to me.
I suppose that is what prompted me to volunteer for CASA. As difficult as the divorce will be on my children and has been on me, I couldn’t stand to spend my time looking inward at circumstances that I couldn’t control. I decided the best way to get past a disappointment was to see what real disappointment and loss looked like.
I’m in no way minimizing my situation, but having mourned it, I felt that my best course of action was to embrace those who by all counts were much less fortunate than me. Currently, I am completing 30 hours of training to begin my work with children who have been removed from their homes by CPS. I’m terrified that this will be heartbreaking, but I know that at the very same time, it will be the second most rewarding job that I have ever done–the first being my three boys.
Meanwhile, I will continue to create magical memories for my boys from cookies to birthday parties to vacations. Like I said, childhood should be magical and maybe sometimes out of imperfection–the most magical things happen after all. I am choosing to believe this and teach it to my boys every day.