Meditations on Four by the Perfectionist

My four year old is seldom at a loss for words, but our one-sided conversation on the way to the “Chik-Fil-A by the highway” last night nearly made me wreck my car as I grabbed pen and paper to get his words down.  So without further ado-a typical car ride with my child.  (I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to my mother and say, “I get it now!”)

Perfectionist <sigh>:  I just wub my pillow pet.  I wish I had a pillow pet when I was a kid..when I was 3.

Perfectionist: Mommy, when I’m a grown up, how will I get clothes?

Me: You will go to the store and buy them.

Perfectionist: But HOW?  I don’t have much money.

Me: Well, you will have a job and use the money to buy clothes.

Perfectionist: Hmm..I don’t know.  Can’t you go buy them for me while I stay home?

Me: Well, I guess so if you want me to.

Perfectionist: Oh I want you to.  I will just stay home and be the other daddy in our family.  BUT we won’t have any more babies.

Me: Well, that would probably be good.

Perfectionist: Unless we get another mommy!  Mommy?  Does Nonie have a baby in her tummy? (Nonie is my 70 yr. old post menopausal mother)

Me <relieved that we surpassed incest and bigamy unscathed>: Uh, no.  She doesn’t.

Perfectionist: WHY?  I thought the girls had the babies in der tummies.

Me <not enjoying the re-visit of babies AT ALL>: Hmm..only when it’s time.

Perfectionist: Some boys have babies in der tummies.

Me: Oh I don’t think so.

Perfectionist: THEY DO.  Isabel’s daddy has a baby in his tummy.  We need to go to her house.

Me: Are you sure?  I don’t think so.

Perfectionist: Uh-huh.  She told the teacher so SEE some boys do have babies in der tummies.

Me <sensing the need to retreat>: Ohhhh-kay.

Perfectionist: Mommy…I’m your baby but I’m not in your tummy.  I’m just your baby.

Me: Yes you are.

I really wish Chick-Fil-A served alcohol.

About Jen Cross

Born and raised in Dallas, TX, I enjoy writing books about life in Dallas and relationships and their many ups and downs.
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