Dear Sleestack…or Why You Should Mind Your Manners on the Internet

STOP!  WAIT!  Before you read THIS post–click HERE to read and comment on My Favorite Things Give-Away.  PS Because I am so sweet-if you comment on the current post, you get your name in the drawing as well.


Dear Sleestak-

I want to apologize if for some reason that I misled you to think that I was anything, but an honest, open, mature human being. If I seemed to you like the type of person who would be interested in having some sort of sneaky relationship/friendship behind your partner’s back, then, I want to take full responsibility.

I’m sure that the fact that I’m a writer and write openly about my daily life, life as a child, life in the good times and life in the bad times probably led you to believe that in some alternate universe, I had the need or desire to be sent an unsolicited and unencouraged suggestive private message on Facebook.

Wow-that ONE time that we met must have made quite an impression on you. Well, let’s just say  that your nasty, inappropriate come-on particularly given the fact that you are married has inspired today’s blog:

You Need A Lesson in Manners on the Internet (and probably in general)

1. When someone limits their profile to your suggestive public comments, it isn’t an invitation to “get close” and send such comments privately.

2. If you are typing something that you wouldn’t type in front of your wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend, then, you should probably think pretty hard before you hit send. The Internet is not “secret.”

3. Some people (like me) actually use the Internet/Social Networking for their career. I know that may come as a surprise to you since I have been less than forthcoming about my writing goals. (that’s sarcasm by the way) So it would be nice if you wouldn’t make direct sexual innuendos besmirching my reputation and implying that you have some knowledge of a side of me that no one sees.   It’s not nice to besmirch someone’s reputation period, but I’m flabbergasted that you chose me-you BARELY know me.   We met once, and we were only Facebook friends because you knew my ex-husband, then husband, at the time we met.  REMEMBER HIM? Yeah–we aren’t married anymore, but HAVE SOME BOUNDARIES. Oh yeah-and You ARE married.  Gee–thanks for being concerned about little ol’ lonely me.  I think, I’m going to do just fine without hound-dogging some woman’s balding, overweight husband.

4. Sometimes on the Internet, people are a little more outgoing/outspoken than they are in real life about personal matters because they are speaking in generalizations and not about an actual situation. So joking about certain things in public to everyone (not directly at you–never directly at you) does not mean that someone is hot for you. So again, please don’t read into someone using humor as a personal invitation for your sleaze-fest of messages/texterbation (continued suggestive private messages hoping for a ‘happy ending’).

5. Do you know how disgustingly stupid and gross the word, “MILF” is..or “MILFY?” In what way would I consider that a compliment, you disgusting pig? The fact that you would use the idea of me as a mother as a form sexual attraction is just stupid. Furthermore, I would appreciate you not objectifying me openly to my face (or at all, really) particularly since I have done nothing but discourage you/ignore you.

6. Just because you CAN send someone a message/text them, doesn’t mean that you should. I have now figured out it WAS you that creep-texted me.  Yeah, I don’t want you “poking” me via text or in real life.  What a stupid way to start a conversation.

7. Do you realize that I won’t even bad-mouth my ex-husband, but I’m giving you a whole blog post because your behavior was so over the top and inappropriate not just to me but your WIFE?

8. Finally, Social Networking is fabulous in so many ways, but it is people like you using it for hook-ups/secret ways of communicating that really ruin it for a lot of us. You are no longer my Facebook friend, and I don’t think you were ever truly my friend. So lesson number 8 is for me:

“Be careful who you trust because some guys are just sleestacks.”


Oh and Just So We are All On The Same Page-my comments in the {}


You are gorgeous sexy pretty milfy {Blech} nice smart witty kind exciting {EWWW} warm comfy {HUH?} dangerous {WTF???} inspiring and too far away {Moving to Antarctica now, Mother F’er}. There is so much more to you than most people see. {Oh wow–he ‘gets’ me–cue Lifetime Movie Network music} Thanks for being my friend.” {AND DEFRIENDING COMPLETE}

Notice, that I’m not nit-picking his grammar.  I would much rather focus on his attempt to create an emotional intimacy where there was none and shouldn’t be one given his marital status.

About Jen Cross

Born and raised in Dallas, TX, I enjoy writing books about life in Dallas and relationships and their many ups and downs.
This entry was posted in Friends, Marriage, Men, Relationships, Sex, The World in which We Live, Things Wrong with the World and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Dear Sleestack…or Why You Should Mind Your Manners on the Internet

  1. A Lasob-er says:

    Ewww. He sounds charming. Good for you for shutting him down totally, instead of just being cold and polite. He clearly isn’t a person that understands subtlety.

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