acebook, Twitter and of course, Four Square are revolutionizing the way that we shop, go out to eat, even travel. With a press of a button, you can inform all 300+ of your “friends” exactly where you are, who you are with and what you are doing. God-I LOVE a good stalking. What pretty girl doesn’t? So suffice it to say, I’m very happy with the current situation.
However, as I checked into my local Target today, it occurred to me. What if instead of just tracking your purchases, Target posted them to your Facebook wall, Twitter or Foursquare? It would be something like this:
Jen Cross just checked in at Target and purchased:
- Large bottle of wine
- Small bottle of wine
- US Weekly
- Manchuren Ramen Noodles
- Dove Chocolates
- Eastbound and Down the Complete First Season Blu Ray DVD
- 2 pairs of those weird slipper socks
A couple of trips like that a week would paint quite a portrait of one’s
shopping life, wouldn’t it? People would love it.
Admit it-you look in other people’s carts all the time. Now, you could do it from the privacy of your own home sitting on your ass drinking wine as God meant it to be! And just so you know–the Eastbound and Down Blu Ray? Worth every F’n high definition penny!
Restaurants would benefit from the “enhanced check in” because popular entrees would be in people’s new feeds over and over.
Jen Cross just checked into Cantina Laredo (AGAIN) and ordered:
- Chicken Fajitas
Well, you get the drift. The restaurant check in already comes in handy because it’s a great way to get friends to bring you take out. They are there anyway–they COULD help a sister out. God-some people are so self-involved.
Anyway, where was I?
Oh yes! The airport check in has to be the most passive aggressive (read AWESOME) ability in modern day civilization. Screw the whole curing cancer..let’s make some people JEALOUS. However, if the check in’s were to go a step further, mayhem or reality could occur on your wall. Take the following as an example:
Jen Cross just checked in at DFW to drop off her incalcitrant (I love when I use a word NOT in Apple Spell check) distant relative who used all of her good towels and broke a wine glass.
Jen Cross just checked into LAX still hungover and possibly dressed in the clothes from the night before. Tagged with her are three unnamed people because she doesn’t remember their names.
Can you imagine the implications if we began to really open up about where we are and why? I’m not sure that I want that much transparency in my already semi-transparent life. Some things like my shopping list and what I order at dinner can stay private for now, but as for the trips—YEAH. Let’s make people jealous. (laughing evil laughter)
I never claimed to be perfect which might be why you like me so much. And I like you for liking me..just don’t tell anyone.