he lawyer is starting his second season of flag football. Football in our family is probably the most important thing next to God and Mexican food. Hey, we’re Texans. So, imagine my absolute thrill when the lawyer, at five, picked up a football and threw a perfect spiral. At nine, he’s a machine, but his current coach is urging daily practice.
So being the awesome mother that I am, I grab the football, and we set out to throw some passes. I’m not entirely uncoordinated; however, my brothers affectionately called me “Grace” on more than one occasion and it wasn’t because of my sweet nature.
My son had much to say about my throwing abilities this afternoon and even tried to teach me how to throw better. So without further ado, here is a list of things, the lawyer told
Grace, er his mom during our afternoon throwing practice.
Lawyer: Here hold the ball with your fingers here and here since your hand is bigger than mine. (he looks at my hand) Oh wait, never mind..hold it like I do.
Lawyer: Maybe you should try throwing with your right hand. Me: But I’m left handed like you. Lawyer: I know, I just thought it couldn’t be worse.
Me: Hey! How about that? Lawyer: That was pretty good but still not a spiral.
Lawyer: Except for your throwing, I like passing the ball with you better than Dad because you are closer to my friends’ size.
Lawyer: I knew I should have ducked. Me: How did you know? Lawyer: Because you always throw it to the ground. Me: I thought you told me too. Lawyer: Sigh…
Me: Wow. I wish we had video of you throwing the ball. You are throwing it hard and high every time! Lawyer: I wish I had video of you throwing the ball for America’s Funniest Home Videos because you are really really bad.
Me: Hey! Take it easy! It’s been a long time since I’ve thrown a football! Lawyer: Did you practice with your brother when he played? Me: No, he didn’t want to practice with me. Lawyer: Not surprised…
To redeem myself, I challenged the lawyer to a game of HORSE at the neighborhood playground after dinner. I lost, um, HORSE to Nothing. But the lawyer did encourage me by saying, “You’re not AS terrible in basketball as you are in football.” I can’t wait until tomorrow afternoon, the coach wants him to practice throwing every day