Why the Lawyer Might Need Reform School

This is a repost from last summer. I will be back with something new next week, but for now..enjoy last summer.

As I was driving the children today, the professor was yammering on and on about camping (seriously..big yawn), but being a sweet mother I was responding with the requisite, “Uh-huh’s” and “Yes, sugar” while mentally singing Mama said Knock You Out in my head. However, the LL Cool J vibe came to a screeching halt when I heard the following:

Professor (6.5): So Mommy, when YOU take us camping…

Me: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Why are you discussing me and camping in the same sentence? That is what your father does, not me.

Professor: I know but you said..

Me: Oh honey, no. Camping for me is the Four Seasons, and you are welcome to come along (in my head: provided I can pay for your separate room and 24 hour baby-sitting)

Lawyer (9): Heh. That’s not camping that’s hanging out at the pool with a margarita.

Me: Excuse me?

Lawyer: Oh except when you and your girlfriends start squealing and talking to each other.

As if this wasn’t bad enough–enter Perfectionist (4)

Perfectionist: Mommy! How do babies get out of your tummy?

Me: Oh, they just do…

Perfectionist: But how?

Me: Oh look! An ice cream place. Let’s talk about it after a treat!

Lawyer: Heh. You just don’t want to tell him.

I am wondering two things:

1. How much Rum Raisin one would have to consume to catch a buzz?
2. Where did I get such a mouthy child?

About Jen Cross

Born and raised in Dallas, TX, I enjoy writing books about life in Dallas and relationships and their many ups and downs.
This entry was posted in Children, Family, Food That RULES, Parenthood, Sex, Why St. Andrews in Kenya is on speed-dial and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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